I feel like I would've approached this film more fairly if I hadn't bought the UK version with Miranda Hart's beaming face plastered all over it. She appears in person for maybe... 6 minutes? And then there's another 10 minutes of screaming off screen that was probably done from abroad because she suddenly got famous and goddamn this film wanted its sixpenn'th.

So putting aside Miranda Hart's performance (like... she clearly knew she had money on the way right?..? I have never seen a professional comedian give so few shits) Who are we rooting for here?

Sex pest who literally cackles with delight on finding that the two slender girls are involved (who's "gayer", the women in a relationship or the man engaged to a woman but bad at secretly carrying bodies up stairs? The latter, apparently!)

Wife of Bastard who rolls her eyes but never follows through on her valid argument that the money would all be hers either way?

Barry from Eastenders?! No Seriously Barry from Eastenders. Okay I've run out of jokes I'm done.