. . . instead of that boulder near Plymouth, the population of Australia doubtless would top 400 million people Today. How is it that the "Aussies" have been such underachievers when it comes to populating the planet? A GIRL'S OWN STORY provides a lot of answers on this subject. Most of the "romantic overtures" depicted in A GIRL'S OWN STORY are of the sort that will not swell anyone's census report. And many of the few births that occur there result from sibling ribaldry. While it's true that America may harbor a few fringe "religious" cults which do a very poor job of explaining "the birds and the bees," Australia behaves as it its entire population is made up of Shakers and Fundamentalists. (If one cannot Shake our some Fun from Sunday School, why matriculate at all?) A GIRL'S OWN STORY may reek of perversity, but at least there's a glimmer of hope amid the final scene of the lady ice skater. IF the Aussies order themselves a shipment of that hot honeymoon flick from "Tonya H.," maybe someday Australian women can join "Nancy K." in exclaiming, "Why me?!"