Amsterdam Heavy (2011) YIFY - Download Movie TORRENT

Reviewed by DopamineNL 3 / 10

So bad, it's (almost) good again! Well, entertaining at least. For all the wrong reasons.

Although just about everything about this film is bad, it's doesn't necessarily harm the viewing experience. The struggling actors evoke sympathy rather than pity, the story allows for a nice game of plot hole bingo and the editing gives you a change to see what actors are doing while they wait for their cue! Every fight has people falling too early or waiting for the punch, every dialogue has moments where you can just see the attention slowly move from one actor to the other... wait for it... and there's the next line!It's not often you see a bad guy with a lisp, or a Mexican standoff on bikes. The English speaking Dutch being played by Dutch speaking English (yes, that's our accent, deal with it) give the whole thing an absurdistic feel, and the fight scene where the former techno-house band The Party Animals suddenly show up is so superfluous it made me look up how to spell superfluous.Which makes one wonder, it's strange how a film with so many redundant appearances of professional K1/kickbox/cage fighters can have such horribly choreographed fight scenes. But it does.Really the only plus of the entire movie is Monique (Alison Carroll), with an actual British accent (thank God!) and a surprisingly convincing Tomb Raider appearance. If there were any rumours about actual actors in this film, it must've been about her. Other than that, the most desperate bunch of Dutch third rate actors has been summoned up, topped off by a (short) surprise appearance of Holland's most smirking comedian: Jörgen Raymann. You'll love it!

Reviewed by krachtm 3 / 10

The only unforgivable sin in a martial arts movie

When I watch movies about big, angry, bald men who beat up everyone else in the movie, I'm willing to overlook a lot of things: plot, characterization, acting, SFX, etc. All I really ask for is good fight choreography and stunts. Unfortunately, this movie really sucks in that department. Also, the director really isn't very good at directing action scenes, either, so they end up being rather boring. As if all that isn't enough, the movie constantly resorts to filler in order to pad the run-time -- half of the scenes take place in strip clubs. I guess if you're a teenage male, that might be a potential positive, but I don't understand why you'd sit through this bad movie just to see a few breasts when you've got access to the internet.You're better off just re-watching old Bruce Lee movies. As an added bonus, you generally get much better plot and acting, too.

Reviewed by Gladys_Pym 2 / 10

What WERE they thinking?

OK. Cred for producing a film for just half a million. But....Is this like the banking crisis? Does the production team sit through an early cut and say "Well, we spent all the money, so we HAVE to release it, even though it sucks".Because if they thought this bit of rubbish was any good, someone wasted their money.Michael Madsen. You know what? Because it was a solo piece he could have, (maybe did?), shot at home, he does a halfway decent job.No-one else is worth anything. Dialogue, direction, acting, and - omg - fight direction - all suck. In spades.And while I'm on it.... 4 positive reviews, all from people who've never reviewed anything before. Is there NO WAY IMDb can do something about this?No way this even strays into 'so bad its good' territory.Its just bad. Save your time and money.Thumbs up for making it for half a million. If they recover even half, it'll be down to the highly mis-representative trailer.

Amsterdam Heavy

2011

Action

Amsterdam Heavy

2011

Action

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Movie Reviews

So bad, it's (almost) good again! Well, entertaining at least. For all the wrong reasons.

The only unforgivable sin in a martial arts movie

What WERE they thinking?

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