They assembled an all-star cast for this film. They included "dark" favorites such as Alice Cooper and Christopher Lee. Character actors like Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Toss in Chloë Grace Moretz, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green and a great soundtrack and you would think you would have a great film, right? They forgot to hire a writer.

The film opens with a long narration to give us the 196 year old background, then shifts to 1972. Some of the humor involves the typical 200 year old man stuff coming into a strange era. It also had the immature "balls" humor. The dialogue was bad. It managed to be campy without being funny. The advantage of bringing the series to the big screen would be the use of great special effects limited by a stage. This was underutilized.

This movie was classless. None of these women could hold a candle to Lara Parker. And if you are going to give 1972 as the year the movie takes place, why would you play music that wasn't released until 1978? I thought Chloë Grace Moretz did great in her role. Gulliver McGrath as David was also fairly decent. The writing, editing and directing killed this film. Wait for the rental.

No f-bombs or nudity. Weird sex scene.