Most reviewers don't get the low-budget disaster movie genre: terrible screenwriting, absurd dialogue, laughable effects and shockingly poor acting are a feature, not a bug. If you're expecting to care about any of the characters you're mistaking this for a screenplay. Of course it makes no real sense, lame stereotypical shallow characters speak at one another in wooden, poorly timed silly exposition; inexplicably emotional damp squibs that build to nothing, aparently fearful of some terrible demise from falling polystyrene and 90s CGI so bad it would make your eyes bleed.

If you're not crying with laughter at the utter bilge of it, then you're in totally the wrong mindset (maybe you're not on your 5th beer yet?) It's genuinely HARD to make dross this bad. A solid 4 out of 10 for making me laugh so much, without being a real film of course.