Joe Don Baker (along way from his Walking Tall glory days, he'd bounce back though) plays Joseph Rutter a father who is mad that his daughter is always hanging out at the local video arcade. He crusades to shut it down, but the management and the other local arcaders have something to say about that. Cue 'hijinks and misadventures' and gaming contests. This movie can and will trick you into thinking it's going to be a fun, if totally guilty pleasure, film at the beginning. The opening theme song is amazingly memorable in that '80's kitchy kind of way that you can't help but smile. The first, I don't know, maybe 10 minutes seem to reinforce that you'll be in for a forgotten classic of teen sex movies of yesterday. But then it goes wrong, horribly wrong. The jokes turn stale, everyone involved grows slightly more stupid (not that they were anywhere close to MENSA members before, but you know what I mean) And the movie just loses pretty much everything it may have had going for it, ceasing to be fun or even entertaining. I really wonder if there will ever be a good film centered around video games (in all likelihood not, but one can dream)

My Grade: D

Eye Candy:Kym Malin & Kim Michel get topless; Erin Halligan shows all

"Joysticks," is a 1983 sex comedy that revisits the clichéd theme of a small youth led endeavor fighting against traditional older hierarchy. The movie is essentially a "Porkys (1982)," knock-off. The cheesy double entendre of the title is an immediate indicator of what this film will deliver. J is a playful low budget romp touching on themes of video games, puerile sex humor, and underdog status. The distinguishing facets of this film have to do with the assumptions that the writers and film makers make. Specifically, two premises directly influence how such a playful but poor film was produced.

The reliance on currently popular slang and vulgarity is typical of this sub-genre of film. The assumption that separates J from other teen comedies involves what is allowed for humor. The writers seem to hold that creating humorous situations is more important than what those same situations may imply. Such an assumption leads to surface level giggles that actually become uncomfortable cringes. For example, two protagonist characters break into the antagonist's home to cause some troubles. In the process, one of the protagonists inevitably falls into the bed of the sedated wife of the antagonist. The wife begins unconsciously groping the protagonist. At this point, the other protagonist character encourages his friend to have sex with the unconscious wife. The entire scene and exchange is meant to be humorous due to an uncomfortable situation and silly opportunistic prodding. The issue arises when the audience considers what would be the outcome if the character in bed actually listened to his friend. Engaging in sex with an unconscious stranger is rape. Of course, the film did not intend to create a situation of cognitive dissonance; yet, the adherence to a premise of creating humor regardless of consequence will inevitably lead to ethically strained situations.

The second major assumption and premise follows from the first. The direction of the film relies on the idea that low-brow humor and moderate nudity make for an enjoyable film. This is not completely fallacious. The problems arise when the audience is treated to a film that only relies on sophomoric humor and nudity. The storyline, production quality, film quality, acting, and character development are almost completely neglected. The result is a clumsy vehicle for fart jokes and youthful curves. J comes off as a film directed toward 13 year old males from 1983. Furthermore, J is almost exclusively enjoyed today by the niche audience of males who were 13 years old in 1982.

Overall, this is a poor film. That it is a poor film was probably recognized by all who took part in the project. The goal of creating a substandard knock-off was accomplished. In fact, the film does have a few quirky scenes that elicit the occasional chuckle. However, the completed end product is highly dated 80's trash. J is only worth pursuing if 80's American culture was formative in one's life.

On a personal note, the film did bring back fond memories for me. I am slightly younger than the target audience, yet this was the type of film that friends and I would try to get video store clerks to rent to us. As to recommendations, I will more than likely do my part in letting this film slip into utter obscurity. 3 of 10 stars.

Jefferson Bailey (Scott McGinnis, Star Trek III: The Search for Spock) owns the hottest of all businesses in 1983: a video arcade. It's driving local business tycoon Joseph Rutter (Joe Don Baker, a man whose name I screamed into the ear of a sleeping girlfriend once, which is a long story I should really get to sometime) nuts, so he gets his two nephews and plans on shutting down the arcade. Mean! Unfair! No!

Bailey's too smart for Rutter and has two pals named Eugene Grobit (Leif Green, Davey Jaworski from the legendary bomb Grease 2) - who is molested by swimsuit girls before he even gets to the arcade - and McDorfus who are ready to deal with this affront.

This movie was such a big deal that Midway allowed the image of Pac-Man to be used as well as their new game Satan's Hollow and the as-yet-unreleased Super Pac-Man during the big showdown at the movie's end.

Corinne Bohrer, who is pretty much teen movie royalty thanks to appearances in films like Surf II, Zapped! and Stewardess School shows up, as does John Voldstad who played "my older brother Daryl" on TV's Newhart.

There are two real reasons to watch this movie. One is the theme song, which has beeps, boops and promises "video to the max" and "totally awesome video games!" This song will infiltrate your mind and not leave, trust me.

The other big reason is John Gries, who completely owns every scene he appears in as King Vidiot, a punk rock maniac surrounded by punker girls who only communicate in video game noises when they're not all riding around on miniature motorcycles. In a more perfect world, King Vidiot would be the star of the film. Every other person pales in comparison to his greatness. Gries would go on to steal the show in plenty of other films like Real Genius, Napoleon Dynamite, Fright Night, The Monster Squad and TerrorVision.

This all comes from Greydon Clark, who directed The Uninvited - a movie where George Kennedy does battle with a house cat - Without Warning and Wacko, as well as appearing in movies like Satan's Sadists.

The saddest part of this movie was that even though the good guys win, arcades would be dead by the mid-1980's. So really, the bad guys did win. King Vidiot? Well, no one knows what happened to him.