A group of Irish Monks needs to make payments on their belfry, so they decide to sell flowers to make money. For weeks they sell flowers, and it's going well. Too well in fact, they've begun to run the local florist, Patty O'Flannigan out of town. Well, a bit cheesed at the monks jumping in on his territory, he decides to confront them. He asks them to step off, politely, but they simply respond that, "That's no way to talk to men of God!", and throw him out of their monastery. For weeks this goes on, the monks selling flowers, and the florist getting more and more desperate to make them stop. Finally, he goes to Hugh Mactaggart, the biggest, baddest man in town -- he could get anyone to leave town -- so Patty decides he's the best way to get rid of the monks, gives him the rest of the money, and retires to bed, wary of the results. In the morning, a knock on his door reveals Mactaggart, offering a firm handshake and saying, "They shan't be botherin' ya again Patty." The moral of the story is, Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

I tell you this joke because it is infinitely funnier than the entirety of Movie 43.

Having nothing else to do on a Saturday night, I went to go see Movie 43 with my friends. I knew nothing about it so I had little to no expectations for it. Despite this, the film still managed to fall flat on its face, leaving me with a bad feeling, much as I'm sure Alex DeLarge felt in A Clockwork Orange.

The premise of the movie is extremely basic: A would-be producer is pitching various ideas for movies and advertisements to a Hollywood executive, and each is shown as it would look if filmed. This back to back barrage of random skits is much like the "Scary Movie" and "Epic Movie" films. Typically, I find most entertainment media with this style to be anywhere from bland to awful, and Movie 43 is no exception.

The most prevalent problem with Movie 43 is that it is simply not funny, for the most part. I shall admit that a particular skit about a home schooled boy and his parents desperation to recreate high school at home got me laughing a few times, but none of the others matched it. Not only are the skits really not all that funny, they're unbelievably ridiculous. The setups feel incredible forced and uninspired, and makes me wonder if this is really the best they could come up with. I do realize that it's humorous for a producer to be proposing these ideas in all seriousness, but this would be something that would work better for just one or two skits, not an entire movie based on the same running gag.

If you're interested in seeing this movie because of it's star studded cast, do not bother. Most of your favorites will get a few minutes of screen time at best, and trust me when I say they are not used to their full potential. I found myself shaking my head at every skit and thinking "Come one, *insert star name here*, you really agreed to this?"

Movie 43 is a perfect example of quality vs quantity. Although this type of movie relies on multiple short stories, I feel it would have been wiser to make fewer, longer skits with more effort put into each, rather than just skit after skit with not much thought in any of them. I only recommend this movie if you truly have nothing better to do with your time or money.

With a title that doesn't seem to have anything to do with the movie itself, "Movie 43" is essentially a bunch of individual comedy sketches that are not so much offensively vulgar (as promised) as they are offensively unfunny; and sloppily put together at that. Directed by a slew of different directors (but mostly by Peter Ferrely) and starring Kate Winslet, Liev Schreiber, Anna Faris, Naomi Watts, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry and the list goes on (but you've surely seen the trailers by now) "Movie 43" is the newest movie hoping to push the boundaries of the raunchy American comedy. So, does it succeed? My consensus has to be…ehhhhhhh.

Yes, this is all very sophomoric, but that's not to say that there are not laughs to be found. In saying that, while I don't share quite the same loathsome regard for this film as many of my fellow critics do, those who come out of "Movie 43" proclaiming it a laugh riot, are probably the same people who classify Adam Sandler as a comedian or amuse themselves by watching syndicated episodes of America's Funniest Home Videos. Even with its star power and the potential comedic material each sketch promises, "Movie 43" isn't really a film worth watching. In fact, I will go so far as to make the early prediction that this is one film which seems destined to make it onto more than a few peoples "worst of 2013" lists.

Aside from the first two sketches (which are admittedly pretty damn funny) a final sketch which works primarily because of Terrance Howard (the African American basketball skit from the trailer) and a post final credit segment concerning a woman played by Elizabeth Banks, who is jealous of her boyfriend's pet cat (animated cat) that is somewhat funny, "Movie 43" is simply not nearly as funny as it promotes itself to be. In fact, about an hour and fifteen minutes of this movie is so unfunny, that it rivals anything seen in the "Scary Movie" franchise. And to top it all off, it's not like I haven't seen comedies which are more vulgar than this; and done better. So even to say that one should see "Movie 43" because it is the most vulgar movie of all time is in fact a misnomer; but one which will undoubtedly result in garnering more ticket sales.

Side Note: This is the type of sketch comedy movie that seems as if the actors had more fun making it than anybody could have watching it. So, no doubt there will be many critical reviews comparing this film to a bad episode of Saturday Night Live, in a tired attempt at comedy. But creating comedic parallels between "Movie 43" and SNL may be a misconception, when sadly most of this film is motivated by uninventive poo poo and pee pee jokes, more so the likes of the defunked MADTV, than any other sketch comedy show.

Final Thought: Even though it's the cocktail of wishful thinking that maybe the next bit is going to be better than the last boring bit, or the morbid curiosity that comes from wanting to see who will be the next big name actor/actress to make an appearance that does give this film it's momentum, "Movie 43" is severely hindered by the fact that it contains a runtime longer than 15 minutes. So, here's my advice: The first sketch in this movie centers around a woman played by Kate Winslet going out on a blind date, only to discover that it is with a man played by Hugh Jackman. Delighted by her good fortune, she prepares to accompany him for dinner. But when Jackman takes off his scarf, it is discovered that he has been hiding a mortifyingly hilarious secret. Now, I have just outlined the funniest sketch of the entire film. So, if you sit through this one, and don't laugh once, what I want you to do is, get up, make your way to the theater's box office and ask for your money back, because for you, it will only get worse from here.

Written by Markus Robinson, Edited by Nicole I. Ashland Follow me on Twitter @moviesmarkus