Unfortunately Stuttering John isn't a writer, an actor or a comedian. He pretends he is, but he has never achieved anything in any of these fields. He has no stand-up career, and his routine is non-existent - it consists of asking the audience where they're from / if they're married / if they still have sex, and then he will go on to tell you how he did something funny 20 years ago. It's not good. There's no actual comedy.
Anyway, that sums up this film quite nicely - there's no actual comedy. John plays a version of himself - a loser 30something with no endearing qualities whatsoever. John is now almost 60 years old and is still playing the same character - an overweight drunk with poor hygiene, no jokes and no audience, who spends his time pursuing younger women on dating sites, as well as creeping on female guests he has on his awful podcast. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
What makes this movie so bad is that John just isn't a likeable personality, either in real life, or in Hollywood. Instead of embarrassing celebrities like he used to, he now spends his life embarrassing himself and his ex-family.
Plot summary
A modern-day romance that follows one man's quest to find the girl of his dreams: one who wants to do it with him and another girl.
Uploaded by: FREEMAN
May 23, 2024 at 05:44 PM
Director
Top cast
Tech specs
720p.WEB 1080p.WEBMovie Reviews
Stuttering John has nothing to offer
Appalling failed vanity project
It's clear that Stuttering John Melendez thought this witless, narcissistic mess of a movie was going to make him the next Adam Sandler.
Melendez is built like a fire hydrant and has the charm of road kill, yet in this he is a lady-killing lothario battling with his limitless power to bed any woman he sees. The only sexual challenge he has yet to attain is... a threesome!
That's all you need to know about the 'plot' of this. Shot like a high-budget student film, its only technical merits are that it is audible and in focus.
Co-star Bellamy Young is charming and certainly deserves much better. Comedian and roasting legend Jeff Ross appears to be doing Melendez a favour by appearing in this, a role apparently written for Melendez's former Stern cohort Artie Lange.
Of all the garbage National Lampoon slapped their name on in the '00s it's hard to imagine anything worse than this.
Plan 9 is a better movie.
This movie isn't funny, even if you were high on dope it would be terrible.