Two good-looking crazies, Lila (Tricia Helfer) and David (David Geraghty), take over the home of a recently broken-up couple, Alice (Rachel Blanchard) and Josh (Stephen Moyer), and start their reign of terror in suburbia. David stows a bruised and sedated Alice in the cellar while Josh ends up meeting his grisly end during a naughty little romp in the hot tub with Lila Loonybrains (sorry, guys, no gratuitous boobies scene). Several more mundane characters meet their demise, mostly stabbed in the neck with a kitchen knife or having their throats slit.

Throughout the film, it's assumed the partners in crime are romantically involved until Lila gives her unwitting dinner guests a disturbing synopsis of the book David is supposedly writing. It's about two children living in the forest who are deceived by a magical creature that persuades them to leave their home to go to utopia. But the children can't keep up with him because he's running so fast and, soon, they're lost. Frightened and alone, they cling to each other but "they can't exactly fall in love because they're brother and sister - twins." Oookay.

It's clear that Lila calls the shots. She's a psychopath, one hell of a sexy one, but her bossiness quickly becomes tiresome. All the while, the audience is wondering if David was castrated - come on, man up. Emotionless and muttering no more than a few words at a time, he's an awkward fellow to watch. A lot of cheesiness with no creepiness makes for a really lame serial killer. His one act of defiance is keeping Alice alive in a basement cubbyhole, letting her out during the day while Lila is out and about. Alice uses his fondness for her to her advantage and convinces him that she'll run away with him when the time comes. So he's not only a wimpy dullard, he's as smart as a pile of rocks.

Open House is bland, empty, and really freakin' boring. I spent more time checking the clock than actually watching the movie. I had to rewind so many parts I missed because, no joke, I kept zoning out. It's not scary, suspenseful, or like many bad films can be, unintentionally funny. Because the movie's only location is the house, there are limited opportunities to introduce new victims. A more experienced director would have offered more than wasted minutes of David cooking or washing dishes and conversations that serve no purpose except as filler. And is it just me or are the aerial blood sprays too watery and unrealistic?

I'm not a True Blood fan but if you are, don't rent or buy this because you see Sookie and Bill on the cover. Combined, they get no more than 10 minutes of screen time.

Brian Geraghty ('The Hurt Locker') and Tricia Helfer ('Battlestar Galactica') star as a couple looking for their perfect home. Unlike the rest of us, they don't use real estate agents or the classifieds. Instead, they find the home they want and murder anyone in their path to getting it. This time around, the unlucky homeowner is Alice (Rachel Blanchard of 'Snakes on a Plane'). Things get complicated (well, more complicated than things usually are for a pair of roaming serial killers) when David (Geraghty) decides to spare the life of Alice, unbeknownst to his partner in crime & love, Lila (Helfer). As Lila spins further & further down the drain of insanity, David begins to regret his decisions and considers making a life change, hopefully with the companionship of his newfound obsession Alice. 'True Blood' stars Anna Paquin (whose brother Andrew wrote/directed) and Stephen Moyer also co-star in small roles.

Marketing in the film industry is a fickle friend. It can make a film and it can destroy it. Look, for example, at a film like 'Cloverfield' from a few years ago. What may have been just a small passing at the box office turned into a worldwide phenomenon, mostly thanks to some phenomenal viral marketing that truly sparked the interest the film needed. With 'Open House,' however, it seems as if marketing is going to very much hurt the film. Why? Because they're setting the film up in a way that will only disappoint a great load of people. Those people are fans of the hit HBO series 'True Blood.' Looking at the cover art for 'Open House,' we are shown the main stars of 'True Blood' Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer right up in the foreground with their names smack dab on the top for all to see. The problem with this, however, is both actors combined probably have under ten minutes of total screen time. While I wasn't bothered much by this since I didn't see the cover art prior to the film, I can see why many fans of the show will be annoyed when the two main reasons they sought out the film are gone before they even get the chance to fully settle into their sofa.

Moving past what is sure to be a disappointing part of the film, there are several elements that I quite enjoyed about this little thriller. The most alluring factor of 'Open House' and one that was truly impressive would be the performances. I was impressed by just about every actor's work throughout the film, especially that of Rachel Blanchard and Brian Geraghty, who after 'The Hurt Locker' deserves to be doing bigger & better films than this. Another strong technical aspect of this film was the cinematography. Joseph White, who made his mark with his photography on 'Repo! The Genetic Opera,' did very well simultaneously capturing the beautiful architecture of the house along with the gloom of the basement 'prison.'

One more talent associated with this film is the director, Andrew Paquin. I didn't cite his role as the writer with that compliment because I believe that is where he and the film failed most. As a director, he did a very fine job, especially for his rookie outing. The script, however, is what needed work. While the dialogue and plot were satisfactory enough, the real problem came from the constant wasted chances at real suspense. Rookie directors often run into problems when they direct their own work because they sometimes can't see the problems that another director or co-writer would see during pre-production or filming. A writer may read through his own script ten times, know it word for word, but not see a small flaw that a person may catch on their first run through. That is why another creative mind working on the script is almost always useful, especially in small productions like this.

Overall, 'Open House' is not going to go on as one of the great thrillers of our time. It will, like many straight-to-video films before it, most likely be forgotten by this time next year. However, for a one-night stand with an entertaining rental, you can do a lot worse than Andrew Paquin's first attempt. I'd like to see more in his future.

Final Verdict: 6/10.

-AP3-