Another example of a film I should have watched when it came out...at least for me it would have been a quintessential teenage movie that would have changed my life, at least a bit.

Now, I see it how it is. A meandering and pandering movie about angst, depression, grief and that trendy thing in Japan, suicide - feelings I've also been through as a teenager. I cannot, however, deny the somewhat unique visual style and the powerful effect it has on the viewer. The visual style created by the camera of the very talented director Hideaki Anno - who previously directed Evangelion (similar themes in both), the set design and filming locations. From a visual standpoint, it's great, it's a must-see.

From the story's point of view, it depends on everyone. On a teenager or early 20-year-old, the story would have a much greater effect than it has on me, and that's understandable. If I think for myself from a point of view of a teenager then yeah, it's moody, enigmatic, unpredictable, cool, random...everything I would have wanted to be. And all set in Japan. The ultimate cool.

But because it's not for everyone and because it's too up its own butt I cannot appreciate it more.

This felt a good 20 to 30 minutes too long for me, which holds it back from greatness in my eyes. That being said, I still liked a good amount of this film, and there were moments throughout that were very effective and powerful.

It's clear to see it as a personal film for Hideaki Anno, and it's different to anything else I've seen from him. I think with this, he proves he can do grounded drama without the sort of sci-fi elements found in his best known movies/shows... but I just wish this had been assembled and edited to be a bit tighter, because to me, it didn't feel like it needed to be more than two hours.

This movie is closer to a character study that to a conventional story. The minimal plot we have is about a struggling director who returns to his hometown and meets a young a girl who lives in her own fantasy world and follows strict rituals seemingly just to get by every day. Their unconventional love runs its course over 30 days and sees the girl confront her deamons and the director get more involved than he wanted.

The girl is so desperately runs from her past that we would believe something extraordinary and horrible happened to her but as we find out what happened was horrible yes but all too ordinary. The main similarity between this movie and Hideaki Anno's other more famous work Neon Genesis Evangelion is that personal trauma is given subjective significance, it is shown as dramatically as it is felt. We we think of family trauma most of the time we think of the death of a loved one or serious physical/sexual abuse but as it is shown it this film verbal abuse and neglect alone can have absolutly devastating effects on a person. Despite what she tells herself the girl's family is alive she probably hasn't been touched in any way but throughtout her formative years she was insulted, blamed and compared, hasn't been given the respect or even validation as a person she deserves, which collectively let to her current state.

Anno's roots in animation are felt as the movie is beautifully shot, I especially like the contrast between the lush imagery of the girls place and the bleakness of the industrial town representing her fantasy and the outside world respectively.

Ayako Fujitani portrays madness very believably, while Shunji Iwai is subtle and precise. My only grievances are that it may be needlessly complicated and long.