...how much horrible crap can we stick in a vampire movie with a decent cast before people realize this movie is a joke.
Horrible CGI, acting, sets, even props! I mean... you couldn't even spring for red contact lens!!! This movie is by far the worst vampire movie ever! This interspersed cutaways to show internet culture make you want to scream at the scream!
Some better editing choices, better script, this could have been a solid cult movie. This sucks for Jane and Ackerman who are solid actors! I know they didn't know this is where the movie was going. The only enjoyable part was the owl commentary.
Plot summary
A group of superstar influencers are drawn to a reclusive billionaire's mansion only to find themselves trapped in the lair of an evil vampire. The only way out is to be saved by a famous online gamer and an old school vampire hunter.
Uploaded by: FREEMAN
January 19, 2023 at 11:46 AM
Director
Top cast
Tech specs
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU 720p.WEB 1080p.WEBMovie Reviews
It's like someone made a bet...
There's bad and then there's Slayers
I've seen bad movies. I've seen horrible movies. I've seen movies so bad they're good. Then there's Slayers. It's just plain horrible. 81 minutes I'll never get back. Normally I like Thomas Jane, Malin Akerman., and Abigail Breslin, but I don't understand why any of them agreed to be in this insult to cinema. I know some actors do terrible projects for a paycheck. I just can't imagine any of them getting paid much for this thing. The concept is terrible. The writing is terrible. The directing choices are terrible. The acting is terrible. The editing is terrible. Throw every terrible cliché in a bag, pull one at random, and you'll find it in this movie.
A Two Flush Turd
Not scary, not funny, vampire effects from the Spirit Halloween Store, Malin Ackerman's deflated face and breasts, Abigail Breslin showing why she is destined to be a straight to Redbox actress and Thomas Jane being the only one who seems to know he's acting in a dumpster fire of a movie.
Apparently shot in 11 days. I'm guessing the script was written in 11 minutes by a Meth head. I understand that actors need to work for financial reasons and to stay relevant but at some point the embarrassment of making garbage like this has to outweigh the need for money.
I hope Malin Ackerman takes the money she made from this and buys herself some bras.