I had a chance to see "The Cyclops" as part of a retro double feature a few weeks back, and it's a classic indication of the perversity of human nature that the annoyance value of this movie kept me thinking about it long after I stopped pondering classics such as "Bride of Frankenstein".

This movie has a fine cast, but they appear to be mostly going through the motions on this one, probably because the lapses in logic and plot holes in the screenplay make it impossible for most people to take it seriously. Lon Chaney has a particularly ridiculous character to play, and while I am a fan of this great actor, I almost cheered when his character bought it.

The special effects are, well, about what you'd expect from Bert I. Gordon. I've never seen a person apparently so obsessed with traveling mattes and gigantism; if he'd done it better, it would be inspiring. As it is, his technical limitations make for really contrived and unconvincing scene layouts.

Not bad enough to be funny, not good enough to be involving, but I kept watching in case something interesting or magical happened before the end. It didn't.

By no means the worst movie in the Bert I Gordon canon that I've seen..."Village Of the Giants" was much worse in spots. (But it also some cheerfully goofy dance scenes,. bawdy teen freakouts, and some hot babes to enjoy.) I felt especially bad for Talbott and Chaney.

The Cyclops

The upside to being 50-feet tall is you can make money just by standing outside car dealerships waving.

However, the mutated features of the colossus in this horror movie might scare off customers.

When Susan's (Gloria Talbott) test pilot boyfriend Bruce (Duncan Parkin) crashes over a mysterious area of Mexico, she hires a pilot (Tom Drake) to take her, a scientist (James Craig) she just met and a shady mining consultant (Lon Chaney Jr.) to the cursed region where gargantuan creatures are rumoured to dwell.

Unfortunately Susan's rescue party is more interested in harvesting the radium that turned Bruce into a mindless Cyclops than in helping her subdue him.

Just one of many radioactive giant B-movies released in the 1950s, what sets this black-and-white jungle adventure apart is the Cyclops' unforgettable design and Lon Chaney's drunken performance.

Incidentally, a thoughtful gift for a giant is a hot air balloon poncho. Yellow Light

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***SPOILERS*** Laughable monster movie with Lon Cheney Jr playing of all things the sleazy and unethical stock manipulator Marty Melville who's out to make it big by discovering the biggest uranium despots in the entire world. What the greedy and muddled headed Marty didn't seem to get into his thick skull was that the place where he was to make his claim was declared strictly off-limits by the Mexican Government and he would end up behind bars if he ever filed a claim for it! Marty got hooked up with Susan Winters, Gloria Talbert, and her pilot and good friend Lee Brand & Russ Bradford, Tom Drake & James Craig, in them trying to find her long lost fiancée Bruce Benton, Duncan Perkins, who got himself lost in the woods or the Yucatan Mountains when his plane crashed there three years ago.

Told by the Mexican officials not to travel there or end out being prosecuted for trespassing the quartet makes their way into the Yucatan mountain range where Bruce is supposed to be and end up finding out that it's loaded with tons and tons of precious uranium. What they soon find out is that the place is crawling with giant rodents lizards insects and birds that the uranium has somehow caused to grow as much as a dozen times the average size. One of the creatures inhabiting that area is a 25 foot one eyed bald headed man, with half his face blown away, who turns out to be Susan's long lost lover & fiancée Bruce Benton!

With Bruce seeing Susan he tries to get in on with her but his size and injuries, as well as not having a suite and pants big enough to fit him, makes that all impossible for the poor guy in that no preacher or minister will ever participate in officiating in their marriage! Susan herself gets second thoughts when she gets a good look at Bruce, who's face looks like a cracked egg with the yoke exposed or dripping out of it, and realizes that he's not exactly her type which makes the dejected and stood-up guy really lose it.

***SPOILERS*** Marty who from the way he acted was anything but interested in being in the movie got his wish by being killed by Big Bruce whom he was trying to gun down when the big guy,in being told to get lost by Susan, went bananas. After having it out with what looked like a 50 foot giant reticulated python, that looked and acted like it was heavily tranquilized, Bruce took off against Susan and Lee & Brand only to slip up and end up going blind when Russ poked him in his only good eye with a fiery hand-made lance! With that or Bruce out of the way the trio,Susan Russ & Lee, flew off into the sunset back to civilization where their faced with a stretch behind bars but at least don't have to face Bruce and his animal friends which would be far far worse!