There's so much that can be said about 'The Extendables' but that title meant to draw comparisons is a bad omen. A tale of Hollywood big screen action men, their egos & problems gets showcased in a virtual no-name cast with little action or budget. The real issue is there's very few laughs which seems to be the entire point to lampooning them.

An Arnold Schwarzenegger-like action star Vardell Duseldorfer (Brian Thompson) aka V. D. is mounting a career comeback after a failed last movie, a run in politics and a scandal involving sleeping with a maid. He's a middle aged drunk, drug addict, impotent sex obsessed idiot. As director / star of his new movie shooting in Eastern Europe 'Hard Time On Mars' can he work with the crew, finish the film & recapture his respect & fame?

I like Thompson - a character actor - who made his bones typically playing heavies in big budget action fare or the odd hero in dtv flicks. Having actually shared the stage with Arnold, Stallone & JCVD is cool. However the tale here isn't a joy to watch and there's no fun insight. Thompson juggles starring, editing, producing, writing & directing which almost makes it sound like a bad vanity project. A word from him beforehand in front of a green screen doesn't help.

Some faces make cameos - Mark Dacascos, Martin Kove, Kevin Sorbo, Patrick Warburton - none of it very good. A lot of people are adopting an apologetic tone towards 'The Extendables', but I don't want anyone to be influenced into seeing this. You might be a fan of Thompson or think the concept of seeing behind the curtain with ego prone actors sounds like a fun time, but this is a pretty sad affair.

Oh Mein godfazer.

Without a doubt this has to be one of the weirder films. Definitely not at all what I expected... I mean I'm a huge fan of our good Brian T but c'mon man.

This will no doubt become mandatory for years to come as a precursor for what not to do, ever... in any instance.

To be fair, let's just say it started off awesome (first 5 minutes). I even giggled a few times, then as the film progressed the laughter turned to pitiful grunts.. and then just silent bewilderment. It's literally like they spent 5 minutes coming up with some ideas and then decided to see how far they could extend the joke... Sadly they stretched it across a full length production. I reckon arm pumping fart humor would have been more captivating.

Though the marketing for this movie capitalizes on the popularity of the EXPENDABLES series, be aware that this is not actually a spoof on that particular franchise. Brian Thompson – that career villain who has yet to actually take his place in Stallone's franchise – takes his first stab at directing, writing, and producing with a comedy that proclaims to be an amalgamation of his experiences working with the eccentric personalities that Sly's been recently highlighting. It's a take-it-or-leave-it premise whose goofy tone may alienate some of its intended audience but is otherwise entertaining enough to warrant a try from people interested in such an odd form of expose.

The story: Aging action star Vardell Dusseldorfer ("V.D.") (Thompson) attempts a comeback by making his directorial debut.

Thompson himself opens the video by explaining its premise as a more detailed response to the question he gets asked so often: "What's it like working with Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Seagal/Van Damme/etc.?" His answer in presented in the form of the main character, who's the biggest weirdo you could ever imagine and one of the more alienating personalities you can find on film. You can clearly see traits of the aforementioned stars in the character, and matching his antics to the rumors you've heard about the real-life personalities becomes the main source of entertainment here. Some of it's very crude, and Thompson definitely relies on hearsay for some of his stories (e.g. the Steven Seagal/Gene LeBell sleeper hold rumor, to which Brian has never been attributed), but it's still a modestly endearing homage to bizarreness, affectionately presented.

Given that this is essentially a caricature of action filmmaking, it is surprising that there is not actually any real action to be seen. The most we get is when V.D. retaliates against a practical joke by shooting up the set with a shotgun. Given this, don't expect much out of the cameos of Martin Kove, Bruce Locke, and Mark Dacascos as a writer irritated with how V.D.'s time-wasting antics play havoc with his script. Almost the entirety of the movie takes place on the set and in the lead's trailer, reflecting the movie's minimalist approach to production. Disappointingly, the actual screenplay is a little bloated, beating some jokes to death and resorting to noise whenever no one is speaking. It's fine to sit through once, but there's not much replay value here.

A previously-released film, CONFESSIONS OF AN ACTION STAR, plays with many of the same ideas but on a larger scale; consider checking that one out if THE EXTENDABLES sounds too weak for you. I don't know if Brian Thompson has a career in directing, but this feature is a serviceable effort that provides a simulated glanced into a world that Thompson has been lucky enough to be privy to. Give it a look, if it sounds like your kind of thing.