We watched The Farmer on the Drive-In Asylum Double Feature last year and I've been thinking about it ever since. I'd waited years to watch it and it more than was worth it.

This film was never released on home media - not on VHS, Beta, Laserdisc, DVD or any other release outside of theaters - until Scorpion Releasing put it out in 2022. Now, you can easily watch it on Tubi, a movie people waited for years to watch.

Originally written as a vehicle for Clint Eastwood - screenwriter George Fargo had acted with him in Dirty Harry, Play Misty for Me, Paint Your Wagon and Kelly's Heroes - this was sold as a twenty-five page treatment to producer and star Gary Conway, who plays Kyle Martin. Martin is a hero of World War II, but his medals don't help him run his one-man farm. He saves a gangster named Johnny (Michael Dante), who gives him $1,500, but it's not enough. The bank barely pays him attention.

Johnny has no such money issues, especially after he screws over a mobster named Passini (George Memmoli) for $50,000. The boss finds him, kills Johnny's bodyguard and then burns his eyes with acid. The gangster remembers the military man and has his girl Betty (Angel Tompkins) offer Kyle $50,000 to kill everyone. Kyle turns it down until Angel gets assaulted and his friend Gumshoe (Ken Renard) is killed.

And that's when he basically becomes an unkillable slasher, taking out every single gangster one by one.

According to Tompkins, there was an alternate ending where - spoiler warning - the black soldier that Kyle stood up for at the beginning of the movie that has become a mob killer actually kills both of them. As she had never seen the movie, she had no idea that there is a happy ending.

Directed by David Berlatsky (the only movie he directed, but he edited The Deep) and written by Fargo, Janice Eymann, John Carmody and Patrick Regan, this is the kind of tough guy movie that has dialogue like "You made two mistakes: one was getting up and the other was making fun of Shirley Temple." It also has a part for Sonny Shroyer, who would soon be Enos on The Dukes of Hazzard.

Memmoli got injured while making this and was in the hospital for most of the shooting. He only weighs 190 pounds in this, way less than his normal weight, but would get to nearly 500 pounds before his death. That accident also kept him from being in Taxi Driver.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops reviewed this movie and said, "Revenge story of a World War II veteran (Gary Conway) has arty pretensions but not a spark of intelligence. Mechanically directed by David Berlatsky, it is excessively brutal and sexually degrading."

Sounds like a great review.

The Farmer has a song on its soundtrack by the name of "The American Dreamer" by singer-songwriter Gene Clark. How strange that it is from the Dennis Hopper documentary The American Dreamer, which is about the making of The Last Movie.

Conway is totally Rick Dalton. He went from his TV show Land of the Giants to appearing in low budget films and finally making this film, his own, to improve his career. He'd also bring a script he wanted to star in to Cannon and it totally got changed around. That script would end up being Over the Top and Conway would get to act in one Cannon film, playing The Lion in American Ninja 2.

There's just something about this movie. Is it how inscrutable its hero is? How cathartic the violence is? The strange soundtrack by Hugo Montenegro? The fact that it took forever to be seen?

I don't know. But I do know I think about it all the time.

A passion project for producer / star Gary Conway ("I Was a Teenage Frankenstein", 'Burkes' Law'), "The Farmer" casts him as the title character, otherwise known as Kyle Martin. Kyle is a WWII hero, just returned home, who intends to run the family farm, which is not seen as profitable by the local bank. They would rather foreclose. Then one night, a gambler named Johnny O'Neal (Michael Dante, "Winterhawk") has a car accident on the road, and Kyle saves his life. Johnny sends his gal pal Betty (gorgeous Angel Tompkins, "The Teacher") to gift Kyle with $1,500 for the good deed, but of course it's not enough for the bank. Johnny subsequently gets blinded by vindictive mobsters, and he gives Kyle a proposal: rub out the mobsters, and he can walk away with a cool $50 thousand. Kyle initially refuses, but inevitably changes his mind.

A "lost" film for many years, this only debuted on home video this year. So, was the wait to see this flick worth it? Well, this viewer wouldn't really consider it a *classic* of its genre, but it serves as good, straightforward entertainment - albeit with a nasty edge to it. One thing is for sure: the bad guys / intended victims in this saga do have it coming to them. Although the main mobster is a guy named Passini (George Memmoli ("Phantom of the Paradise"), looking relatively svelte), the worst of the bunch is a dude appropriately named Weasel. Played by the late, great Timothy Scott ("The Ballad of Gregorio Cortez"), Weasel is as despicable as they come.

Conway is just okay as a rather stoic, unemotional character, although the opening sequence sets him up well as a man of honor, who doesn't want to see a black fellow serviceman get disrespected. Still, he makes for a memorable image here, with his hat, shades, and stogie almost constantly clamped between his teeth. Tompkins and Dante are good in support; Memmoli makes the most of his one big scene. Sonny Shroyer ('The Dukes of Hazzard'), Johnny Popwell ('Deliverance'), and Eric Weston (the future director of the horror film "Evilspeak") co-star.

Granted, some of the dialogue is pretty lame, even if four credited people worked on this script, including story author George Fargo. And the music score was inconsistent - sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn't. At least the songs are pretty nice. And the script *does* work in an amusing surprise near the end, so it wasn't *entirely* predictable.

If you love exploitation cinema of the 70s, or a decent, no-nonsense revenge feature, you'll likely have a good time with this one.

Seven out of 10.

"The Farmer" started out okay but, about half way through, it wore out its welcome. It ends up being a very long, pretty annoying watch. Angel Tompkins is the highlight of the movie. Tompkins not only looks great but she gives the best performance of the movie. The supporting cast is fine but the star, Gary Conway, gives a wooden performance. After a while, I couldn't care less about him. "The Farmer" also has at two or three long montages with corny '70s style songs. Those were fast-forward moments for me. (One of those songs ruins the movie's only nude scene.) There is also a very long rape scene that seemed to go on forever. After that scene I lost all interest in this movie.