The Radleys
2024
Comedy / Horror

The Radleys
2024
Comedy / Horror
Plot summary
A seemingly ordinary family harbors a dark secret: they are vampires. They choose not to drink blood despite their natural cravings, but one day, their truth comes to light.
Director
Top cast
Tech specs
720p.WEB 1080p.WEB 1080p.WEB.x265 2160p.WEB.x265Movie Reviews
Not utterly toothless, but definitely gummy.
Mediocre contemporary Brit vampire flick lacking in pace, bite, flair & style
In even-paced contemporary British vampire flick "The Radleys" Kelly Macdonald & Damien Lewis, with teen kids Bo Bragason & Harry Baxendale, seem a regular middle-class Yorkshire-coast family... til the kids learn (the hard way) that they're actually all vampires (albeit abstaining ones). Lewis' active-vampire bro (also played by Lewis) comes to help them through this tricky period, but makes matters worse (drawing in suspicious neighbour Shaun Parkes, fearing for the safetly of son Jay Lycurgo). Director Euros Lyn & writer Talitha Stevenson may want it to be the first of a new "Twilight"-esque franchise, but it lacks the requisite bite, flair and style for that. Mediocre.
The best description this film could have is 'tedious'.
It follows a seemingly ordinary family with a dark secret: they are vampires. They choose not to drink blood despite their natural cravings, but their truth is revealed one day.
Kelly Macdonald is strong as Helen Radley. Bo Bragason is strong also as Clara Radley. Damian Lewis and the rest of the cast are pretty vague and don't really have any presence. Casting is a huge error.
The story is about a family of vampires who don't drink people's blood anymore. The problem is, there is no story. It's more like a few days in the life of a boring family of vampires. We lurch from scene to scene with nothing really happening. There are constant scenes where people just look at each other, or stare at the wall. Nothing is happening and no feeling is being communicated to us. People are just standing or sitting, doing nothing for seconds at a time. None of the characters except Helen and Clara really have any personality at all. Possibly one of the worst characters I've seen for a very long time is the pseudo-hippie-vampire-chief Will, also played by Damian Lewis. The character is not very well put together and Lewis's second rate acting abilities can't make anything of the character.
So we've got mostly poor actors, badly cast, with a poor script, and amateur videography and directing. Then we're told it's not just a horror, but also a comedy. I've just finished watching it and I honestly can't recall anything remotely funny happening during the entire show. It's almost amusing how bad the film is, maybe that's what they mean? Ultimately, there is no point to the film. There's no meaning for it. It's nothing more than a fly on the wall documentary of some boring middle class vampires going through their daily routines in a boring way. It really aws tedious to watch and when the end finally came and a long, meaningless speech had come to a close, I said "Finally, thank god that's finished." I give it a 2 and I think that's being generous.