This movie straddles the line between campy spoof and dark comedy, and pretty much misses the mark on both. Although there is indeed some hilarity throughout, the convoluted criminality with absurd layers of hyper espionage makes it mostly a mish-mash mess of meandering maladjustments. It coulda shoulda woulda been much funnier except for the stilted direction, wasting some fine supporting actors. It might be worthy of a second viewing with the expectation of nothing more than nonsensical silliness which it does deliver as only a Cage movie can all the way through to what has to be an intentionally inept ending.
The Retirement Plan
2023
Action / Comedy / Crime / Thriller
The Retirement Plan
2023
Action / Comedy / Crime / Thriller
Plot summary
When Ashley and her young daughter Sarah get caught up in a criminal enterprise that puts their lives at risk, she turns to the only person who can help: her estranged father Matt, currently living the life of a retired beach bum in the Cayman Islands. Their reunion is fleeting as they are soon tracked down on the island by crime boss Donnie and his lieutenant Bobo. As Ashley, Sarah, and Matt become entangled in an increasingly dangerous web, Ashley quickly learns her father had a secret past that she knew nothing about and that there is more to her father than meets the eye.
Uploaded by: FREEMAN
October 28, 2023 at 11:03 AM
Director
Tech specs
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB 2160p.WEB.x265Movie Reviews
Seriously Silly
Nicholas Cage Reitire?
My A$$ Nicholas Cage has a retirement plan. He will star in his own embalming video: "This fluid is colder than my blood and smells bad but I guess that's what ppl do....... anyway it's seeping into my cranium now so gotta run. Think of me come Oscar & Golden (plated) Globe time! It was great staying active so long!! I SHOULD HAVE won something for Raising Arizona, & didn't. Shouldn't have won for leaving Los Vegas, although Elizabeth Shue should have. "The Golden (plated) Globes and Oscars should be talent/performance-based, NOT a popularity contest. In all seriousness this movie was funny for Nic Cage standards. He can be anything from outstanding to horse-dookie depending on the script and direction. For example watch "City of Angels" in which he (and Meg Ryan) made a far reaching sctript into an emotional, into genius work.
I dunno - it's the same type of thing he puts out a half dozen times a year. Watch at own risk.
I'll give this a "pity C-"
High concept that goes nowhere. There were a few plusses: Nick Cage as a trained killer is always fun. The little girl was suitably cute. The script featured good grammar and complete sentences.
Otherwise, the by-the-numbers script was unrelentingly pointless, predictable, and dull. The direction was about the level I'd expect from an average episode of "the A-Team", plus the stupid "introduce each character with a freeze-frame and their name in text", which became old and tiresome long before the little-girl hostage was born.
What really pisses me off about this one is that Ron Perlman was giving it his all, I mean, he really rose above the horrible script, until he couldn't anymore, and was let down by a stupid ending that didn't pay off anything it was building to.
In fact, I could say that about the whole movie, except none of the actors really put much into it. Ashley Greene could easily have been replaced by a block of balsa wood, Grace Byers should have been given a mustache to twirl, and Real-Acting-People Jackie Earle Haley and Ernie Hudson could have been played by an A. I. trained by their previous roles. No one else had a discernible personality.
Recommended if you are high, have some junk food handy, and want to waste 103 minutes of your evening without using your brain.