If you read the online comments on various internet message boards, you'll see phrases like 'a thinking man's horror film' and 'highly atmospheric.' Then, when people - sadly, like me - who simply describe the film as 'boring,' we get criticised for 'only liking the lowest form of film' and 'not appreciating it.' It's about a seedy bar-owner who hires a mysterious hit-man to do away with an out-of-favour colleague. However, things go wrong and the hit-man ends up stalking a hapless (and overly-perfect, in my opinion) barmaid who works at the bar.

I'm afraid, for all the high-brow talk about Crawl, I just found it dull. There are long periods where there's no talking. And, in an attempt to 'create tension,' the same three chords are played endlessly on a cello. These scenes repeat at various intervals all the way through the film and you're just as well fast forwarding them and watching the speeded-up version (as you'll see what's happening at a fraction of the screen-time).

I don't just watch Michael Bay films and movies filled with endless car chases. I do watch other movies where I also have to (occasionally) use my head to figure things out. However, I just couldn't help but get bored with this.

Obviously, judging by the amount of positive praise there is out there for this film, then it has found an audience out there somewhere - I'm just one of those philistines who didn't appreciate it. Sorry! On the plus side, it's short!

George Shevtsov plays a slow and methodical Croatian hitman. Through circumstances he ends up broken down at Marilyn's (Georgina Haig) house. She is an employee of Slim (Paul Holmes) who hired "the Croat" to perform the hit. At this point we have the home break-in formula.

The film utilizes a 1950's suspense thriller soundtrack. There are attempts at dark comedy and symbolism that doesn't work too well. A quirky film that misses the mark.

Worth a rental.

Parental Guide: F-bomb. No sex. Blurred shower nudity, spanking. Drug use.

I'm a fan of low budget horror films, from Brain dead to The Loved Ones, on to the Irish film Grabbers. However, this has the feel of a director who thinks he's directing an art movie. Lots of silences, not suspense, mind you, but just silence. Literally no sound, just two people looking at each other for 5 elongated minutes. When the action comes there is no logic to it. And finally, the sound track, or more accurately that same piece of annoying music that's randomly played regardless of what happening. All you need is 3 high piano key key to make a horror soundtrack. Watch any seventies or eighties horror. The acting was good, but that's the movies only saving grace. I wish I was living in Schwarzenegger's Total Recall, cos I got a memory I want to erase.