"Dark Mission: Flowers of Evil" is a film which stars Robert Mitchum's son, Chris. While Chris never exactly became a movie star, he did manage to make a few movies...mostly in supporting roles. But here in this film, he has a chance to show whether he's leading man material. Judging by the scores of his films over the past couple decades, I would say he isn't exactly big star material.

In this story, Chris plays a guy who tells everyone he's a reporter who has arrived in Columbia to do a story about addiction and the drug trade. However, everyone seems to think he's either a gangster or a government agent. And, no matter where he goes, women just throw themselves at him.

One of these women just happens to be the daughter of a huge drug kingpin (Christopher Lee) and Chris isn't sure if she knows her father's business...especially since she was sent to the States for an education.

So is this film any good? Not especially. It's incredibly low energy and the film manages to do very little with its location shooting in Spain and Portugal. I blame the director for much of this. While I wouldn't say the movie is terrible...it's close.

CIA agent Derek Carpenter (Christopher Mitchum) has been sent to Lima by his boss Lieutenant Sparks (Richard Harrison) to stop drug dealer and one-time Castro supporter Luis Morel (Christopher Lee). He meets up with Moira (Brigitte Lahaie), a woman who wants revenge on Morel for killing her husband, and falls for Linda (Christina Higueras), Morell's daughter who has no idea that her father is a major drug dealing criminal.

Supposedly, Lee asked Jess Franco if this was going to be another porn movie he got him into - to be fair, the last time that happened it was softcore and I still refuse to believe that one-time supposed master spy Lee was fooled by Jess - and once he was assured there wasn't even a nude scene, all was fine.

Eurocine paid Franco to make movies that weren't Franco movies or at least the ones he liked making. But he made money on these and I know, as someone that punches a clock, just how essential that is. You can't pay your mortgage with the respect of snide Internet film lovers thirty years in the future, after all.

That said, Lee is, as always, wonderful and if you can't deal with watching Brigitte Lahaie shooting a machine gun from the hip to erase just how wooden Chris Mitchum is, you haven't built the calluses to watch Eurocine's films just yet.

Spanish exploitation vet Jess Franco directed this tiresome action thriller about American secret agent searching for big time cocaine dealers in Cuba (or something). The film is an example for the Americanization of European B-cinema that started in the 80's - Dark Mission looks like an American TV movie and nothing else. There's nothing here that reminds of whatever talents Jess Franco once had. Even French actress Brigitte Lahaie looks surprisingly bad in this awful, uninspired yawnfest.