Fancy wasting your time? Then check out this Grecian offering, which boasts two of the most obnoxious men you'll ever meet. They're cards, they really are.. stealing things from incredibly stupid people, sleeping with whoever they want despite being unbelievably ugly and dodging fake looking bullets and dodgy motorcycle thugs like there's no tomorrow. Who better to protect the life of a psychic who has witnessed a murder in Poland, I ask you? 'Hilarious' adventures with naked maids, rude talking birds and stripping at gunpoint ensue.

It is difficult for me express just how appalling this film is. Every single aspect of it stinks in a way few films do, and it takes a special kind of non-talent to make something this offensively bad. The metaphor that I could use is that of a modern art picture, where people throw random amounts of paint at the canvas and hope it will turn out to be a masterpiece. Unfortunately, all we end up with here is a mess, and a tedious and pointless one at that. It isn't even worth me thinking up an amusing punchline to end the review like I usually do. So I'll simply close by stating for the record I wouldn't wish this movie on my worst enemy, and if any of the actors/ directors/ caterers involved in this crap had any sort of career afterwards, the world is indeed a tragic place..

This Mastorakis film plays like one of John Holmes' Johnny Wadd films, but without the hardcore sex. Bob (Peter Winter) and Ches (Hristos Nomikos) are two bachelors on the make. They are hired by Geraldine (Jessica Dublin) to guard her and her daughter, Christine (Maria Aliferi). Christine is psychic, and knows all the details of a political murder. The bad guys are after the ladies, and Bob and Ches try to protect the women, when they are not sleeping with half the female population of Greece. The climax tells us that Geraldine and Christine are not the helpless damsels-in-distress we think they are, and Bob and Ches race to stop another assassination.

Sometimes a film set in the 1970's is quaint and watchable but all the bell-bottoms and round spinning beds distract from the slight story. Mastorakis fills the screen with sex. The men are as naked as the women, and the sex scenes are long. They distract from the lame action scenes, which consists of unexciting car chases and very fake blood. The psychic can defend herself by setting her enemies on fire at will, it is never explained why the women need these two dolts to protect them in the first place, except to have a movie. Also known as "The Para Psychics," I believe the English title was supposed to be "A Pair of Psychics," since "The Para Psychics" makes about as much sense as the plot. If you do happen upon this, skip it. The editing was done with a chainsaw, the dubbing is hopeless, the action dull, and the heroes are jerks. If you like Mediterranean women on the other hand (or either hand), this might be for you.