Before what would become an intensely popular super-bad horror phenomenon, TROLL 2, featuring a group of teenage boys traveling in a recreation vehicle, Italian producer Joe D'Amato and his synth-composing Carlo Maria Cordio used just one young man, a kind of misleadingly boy-next-door Ted Bundy type, who kidnaps, tortures, rapes and kills female hitchhikers in HITCHER IN THE DARK, where the title is also misleading, sounding as if THE HITCHER were the villain...

Instead it's rich kid Mark (Joe Balogh), who picks up a girl he saw fight with her muscular, two-timing boyfriend, and she's one of the cutest blonde starlets in the history of cheap horror exploitation. Although MELROSE PLACE fans may not recognize a younger Josie Bissett in her literal career beginnings with long locks. But soon enough, like put-upon wife Jane Mancini, it's cut short, and it wasn't her idea...

The preppy-dressed RV driving Norman Bates has mother issues, and wants Bissett's Daniela to look exactly like a nostalgic photo. Also a modern retelling of THE COLLECTOR, most of this Kidnapped Damsel venture has plenty of those frustrating moments when the victim almost escapes, but at the last minute, fails: Stretched to a long 90-minutes of the good girl and bad boy trading off the upper-hand as most of the picture takes place inside the RV...

But not without lovely exterior shots of both the city and rural surroundings of Virginia Beach, making this a kind of circular-road movie. The nervous monotony is sporadically broken by b-story stud Jason Saucier's Kevin, her boyfriend, sometimes only a few oblivious seconds behind, searching for the girl that literally got away in this obscure, low-budget thriller that, for better or worst, takes its time to torture both the ingenue and audience...

Meanwhile, composer Cordio's creepy (and familiar) score, and one scene featuring a flying headless gorilla from a movie shown at a drive-in, will make rabid TROLL 2 fans dizzily nostalgic. But more conventional horror fans may want to skip this bizarre and exploitative ride.

I can hear you out there. You're saying, I wish Umberto Lenzi made another movie in Florida right after Nightmare Beach. And I hope its a ripoff of The Hitcher but about a rich kid in an RV and that it's so scummy that I feel like a Silkwood shower still wouldn't make me feel clean.

Good news, friend. There's Hitcher In the Dark, a film that crosses off every horrible thing on your deranged bucket list.

Mark Glazer wants to have sex with his dead mother.

If that upsets you, seriously, move on to another review.

He's driving around in his rich daddy's RV and picking up female hitchhikers to assault, murder and take Polaroids of. That's when he runs into Daniela (Josie Bissett, who somehow moved on to the tamer - if that's possible - Melrose Place), who he turns into a living version of his mother. And thanks to a cocktail of Stockholm Syndrome and Italian movie making magic, she starts to fall for our killer.

Originally, this movie ended with Mark getting away with it. But hey - they added on a little end where Daniela finally gets her revenge.

Amazingly, someone released this on a three pack with Hell High and The Majorettes. I can only imagine how people felt being confronted by this movie.