"In the Bedroom" is a 2001 film that examines the ramifications of grief on a marriage. This was done in "Ordinary People" where the focus was really on the son and his coming to terms with a family tragedy. In "Damage," the focus is on a love affair that brings tragedy to a family. "In the Bedroom" is about two people, Ruth and Matt Fowler (Sissy Spacek and Tom Wilkinson) dealing with unacceptable loss.

Their college-bound son Frank (Nick Stahl) is dating a separated and almost-divorced woman Natalie (Marisa Tomei) with two small children. She's older than he is, and her almost ex Richard (William Mapother) is violent, volatile and obsessed with her. He badly wants to reconcile. Frank's mother (Sissy Spacek) is disapproving of the union while his father (Tom Wilkinson) believes it's a summer fling and doesn't intrude. During an altercation with Richard, Frank is killed. Natalie, en route down the stairs at the time, doesn't see Richard pull out the gun, so Richard ends up looking at a manslaughter charge. When the Fowlers learn that the man who murdered their son won't get the punishment that is really due him, they are devastated.

Ruth, on leave from teaching music, sits on the couch all day watching TV and smoking cigarettes while Matt goes back to his practice as a doctor. The two basically stop speaking and interacting. When they finally have a confrontation, they each blame the other for Frank's death, Matt claiming Frank kept seeing Natalie to spite the controlling Ruth, and Ruth insisting that Matt gave his "approval" for the relationship because he and all his friends wanted the attractive Natalie and envied Frank his youth and "piece of ass." The air cleared, Ruth tells Matt what has been tormenting her; Matt wants to help.

"In the Bedroom" is primarily a character-driven story, something in these days of special effects that's not often seen today. One couldn't ask for better actors than Wilkinson, Spacek, Tomei and Mapother, as well as a strong supporting cast. Wilkinson is magnificent as a doctor whose calmness and acceptance of his usual daily and weekly activities, such as his poker game and visiting friends in their cabin hides a terrible anger and sorrow. There is no artifice to Wilkinson, no obvious acting "choices," just simple acting of the truth of a character so that it seems organic to him. If Wilkinson is calm, Spacek's Ruth is downright catatonic as she stares straight ahead at the television puffing her cigarettes, stiffly goes about her business in town and gives a friend a fake, bright smile when a woman talks about her grandchildren. Finally back to work, she puts on her earphones and listens to the music she is teaching her chorus, making notes, taking a second out to slap Natalie in the face when she comes to give her condolences. Then she quickly and deliberately goes back to her music, her expression never changing. It is one of the most powerful scenes in the film.

The film takes on different personas, which is perhaps a criticism - it's a light summer film about parents dealing with a young son's love affair, it's a tragic story of grief, and then it becomes black with horror. However, you'll never be bored, and the characters will keep you constantly fascinated.

"The bedroom" is part of a lobster trap - the explanation of this starts the film, which is filled with images - a bridgekeeper changing traffic direction, manipulating the bridge by running in circles - an idyllic cabin setting that takes on two meanings. It has been some weeks since I've seen it, but I can't shake the final scenes, particularly the last moments of the film. So very ordinary. It's haunted me ever since.

The use of sound in the film was interesting. Background noise was used to tell the story as much as as the filming angles. This gave the movie a compelling dimension of claustrophobia for the main characters as though everything was closing in on them.

The sound aspect perfected a sense of distraction or lack of concentration that many people may feel after a tragedy. Of course the obvious scene is where the Dr. Fowler is speaking to the DA. The focus of the camera captures the movement of the DA's mouth, then the jingling of the keys in the DA's pocket. Another not-so-obvious scene is when Dr. Fowler visits Natalie in the country store. The footsteps, the creaking of the floor boards, and the beeping noises from the cash register all create the sense that both Natalie and Dr. Fowler want to lash out at creators of those noises.

I sat through this film with my girlfriend who'd been talking about it for weeks. I'd heard wonderful things about the acting and little else. Now I know why.

Let me say the actors were all wonderful. As opposed to most movies, I actually felt I was watching real people. The performances were very believable. And for me, that alone was the salvation of the film.

I don't know the actual length of the film but I can tell you it was long and it felt it.

Part of this is due to the subject matter. If your idea of a good film is watching people suffer for 2 hours, THIS IS YOUR FILM. The movie is a well done character study of misery and grief. Even my girlfriend who loves a good cry found the movie to laborious and depressing. I'll say again; the film is a FANTASTIC, WELL ACTED exercise in the details of misery. For some, this may make it a great film. And in many respects this probably qualifies it as a fantastic film. But, perhaps as I'm getting older, I find less need or desire to focus on the hardships of life. And when I actually venture into a theater to watch a film; I want to escape. This movie makes you ponder grief. And frankly, who needs a movie to do that?

If you want to judge a film entirely on the merits of cinematography, acting, maturity and meeting its goals; this film deserves a much higher rating then I gave it. (I gave it a 6) Matter of fact, part of me feels guilty for the low score I gave it.

On the other hand, while technically it was a well made film, I was glad when it was over and don't feel better having seen it. (Other then appreciating that a film actually portrayed real characters) The subject matter was too depressing. The pacing was too slow. I released a sigh of relief when it ended.