The harsh reality of filmmaking and the stories you never hear about, not because there are few, but because they offer the unglamorous reality of making it in the world of movies. A reality evincing a mirror reflection of the success stories of Hollywood.

Zia Anger knows what she is talking about since the film could be seen as semi-autobiographical. 'Always All Ways, Anne Marie' is the abandoned project by her after being rejected by almost fifty film festivals. Zia Anger's feature length, technically her second film, follows Vita, a young filmmaker, as she recounts the difficulties in making her movie. Set in the aftermath of the subprime crisis where micro-budget films abounded, Vita, after a life making videos as an artistic expression, decides to make her first movie. Like a wakeup call, unforeseen problems will surface during and after the shoot, making her life miserable but also questioning if she has what it takes to achieve her goal. My First Film captures how situations like this impact negatively in a creative person who has reasons to believe, no matter how right or wrong she may be, the world is against her. But like the movie puts it, "It happens to a lot of people, it's just that nobody talks about it." Odessa Young successfully channels in the protagonist the struggles and the profound desolation only an artist knows where her art is taken seriously solely by her while other people view it as a mere hobby or worse, going so far as to deride her. There is so much of Daniel Johnston's Story of an Artist in the movie that it could have been used as part of the soundtrack.

It could be seen as a therapeutic meta-fiction experience where art creation is treated as something akin to rebirth since there is a constant metaphorical play between childbirth and creation. The downside of the movie, what ultimately undermines its motive, is its inability to make the audience part of the process. Despite the emotions Vita feels and the overall situation, most of the shooting scenes aren't completely appreciated due to the film's lack of explanation of the script, something that also affects its humor, which isn't precisely funny. It feels like intruding into glimpses of a shooting instead of being part of it. We barely know what the movie they are making is about, and after some time we just don't care. Exposition on the surface that therefore does not translate into a successfully conveyed experience. Like the producers told Vita, and for that matter, probably, to Anger herself, this is just too esoteric, i.e., intended for or likely to be understood by only a small number of people with a specialized knowledge or interest.

For a movie with a close resemblance to James Franco's The Disaster Artist from 2017, it lacks the tension, the engaging elements, and, of course, the humor. Odessa Young makes the movie slightly watchable, but there's only so much she can do.

A simple but very well-made film with performances and direction that capture your attention. A film that became something I wasn't expecting, it brought a pure feeling of wanting to be a part of it, of wanting to be able to do more. It shows a woman so full of potential but so afraid of failing, and when she finally realizes and fails, she can be reborn again. This film is a feeling, and films that capture the characters' internal struggle and their journey of self-discovery can really motivate us to reflect on our own lives and dreams. An act of love for cinema and the will to make your dreams come true, even if you have no idea where to start.

This is another Mubi production we watched, thanks to Mubi's exploration of the American continent. I haven't been able to see Zia Anger's 2018 work of the same name, I searched but couldn't find it - I wish Mubi had made that available too.

Zia Anger has attempted to create a very unique piece of work, and for a debut film, it's quite a professional effort, although it's not really a debut production. Anger's mastery of her craft is undeniable, not just as a director but also as a screenwriter.

I agree that this film stands out among the flood of festival/independent/art-house films (it's festival season in Turkey and around the world, as you know). The cast Anger has assembled is truly impressive.

The film manages to rise above mediocrity, perhaps its biggest handicap is being released at the wrong time. But in the long run, the film will find its audience, and so will Zia Anger.