I'd hate to think that living near the Great Salt Lake can make one totally lose perspective, but apparently that's what has happened to Kirby Heyborne. Heyborne who is an LDS version of Martin Short stars in Pirates Of The Great Salt Lake during which he damns Johnny Depp for making pirates lovable because he's not taken seriously.

Heyborne and his new found friend Trenton James have decided to become pirates and their sea is the Great Salt Lake. Of course this whole thing is most disturbing to his mother Joyce Cohen. Still it's amazing how many even if they don't take him seriously kind of go with the flow.

When an actual pirate map is discovered and take my use 'actual' with a grain of salt all kinds of things start happening. We even delve into the supernatural.

Pirates Of The Great Salt Lake is a film that tries hard to be in the tradition of Harvey and Arsenic And Old Lace. But it just isn't in that category. It gets a little too weird for my taste, but Heyborne is a talented guy and if you look at some of his other work you'll come to that conclusion.

Okay, first off, I LOVE pirates, pirate movies, stories, books, shows, most anything pirate-related, such is why I rented this from Netflix. This movie was entertaining about the first 20-30 minutes, then the story became drab and poorly put together. There was little to no sense throughout the remainder of the film, and despite what has been written in many reviews above, you can tell this was filmed in three weeks, and the script seemed to be written in a lot less time than that. Kirby Heyborne who I've never heard of or seen before, did an excellent job with his performance, even though he had little to work with, and was about the only good thing about this movie. Trenton James gave a more than decent performance as well. As for the rest of the cast, appeared more like friends and family, than actual talented or trained actors. The description is that of "Two Teenagers," but yet neither of the main characters looks even close enough to play a Senior in college, so either the casting was bad, or the description should have been changed. I have a feeling that the majority of the positive comments hailing this film as great, are from people associated with the film, and/or members of the "Free The Pirate" fan club. The "Idea" is good, and I can get past the quality of filming with low-to-no budget films, when the quality of the story is prevalent, this, however, is not one of those cases. As with any opinion on a movie or anything at all, it is just that, an opinion. I still however support filmmakers who want to get their stuff out there, but as well, I support the honesty and criticism of people close to me, and would've hoped those close to the makers of this film, had told them to spend much more time during pre-production before diving in.

I have to admit I only made it through the first 37 minutes of this movie before I realized it wasn't going to get any better. I probably could have watched the next 49 minutes, but I couldn't think of even one reason why I'd want to see any more of it. I don't like to review movies I haven't seen all the way through, but I felt a moral obligation to warn as many people as possible about this piece of junk.

Please, do not watch this movie. The whole thing is only 86 minutes long, but it felt like it would go on forever. The script is terrible - I can't believe anyone even spent five minutes writing it. I'm sure I've seen worse acting someplace, but I can't remember where. The plot was horrible, and though it was supposed to be a comedy, I didn't laugh at anything because nothing was funny.

This is an independent film, but don't be fooled. This is no Napoleon Dynamite. That movie was actually funny. Pirates of the Great Salt Lake should have been buried at sea before it was ever committed to film.