Before all our genitals shrivelled up using the internet, iphones, and other gadgets, people used to pass the time having sex. This is their story.

After a hilariously upbeat theme tune introduction, a middle aged man goes to the Hotel of the title and hooks up with a woman in the bar. The seemingly knowing guy on reception gives them the key to Room 3, a blood red room that contains all manner of kinky equipment and costumes. Plus a two-way mirror so that someone can take pictures and blackmail the clients later. You see that guy dressed up as the devil and unnervingly chewing on that actresses chin - he's a high flying businessman, and that lady dressed as a nun - that's not his wife.

One threatening letter and several kinky blackmail pictures later, and this guy is approaching his lawyer in the first of many scenes that don't make any sense in hindsight. The lawyer is dubbed with one of the funniest voices I've heard in a long time, for the record, so it's good when this guy shows up throughout the film. The blackmailed guy's wife gets wind of the whole deal and goes to the police, where cop Antony Steffen gets involved. Some black-gloved killer also gets involved, as the nun lady gets murdered and the wife soon follows suit while investigating the hotel.

This all sounds like a great set-up for a slash-a-thon, doesn't it? It's a pity that the investigation of the blackmail plot takes precedence, interlaced with endless nudity and liaisons in Room 3. Ray Lovelock and his missus get involved as newlyweds that witness some dodgy happenings and agree to help the police, resulting in his missus tracking down a photographer and taking part in a lengthy nude photo session that's followed by another nude photo session, then a third nude photo session until we get to another naked session in Room 3 involving a bottle of champagne that had me laughing out loud. At this point I was thinking that the killer might be some grudgeful cleaner fed up trying to wash filthy man-fat out of those sheets.

To be honest, although the film does contain about as much nudity as a copy of Razzle, it's not that filthy. My stomach did turn at some of the over-zealous snogging by Marino Mase mind you. Judging by the cheeseball look on Marino's face when he dresses up as a Bishop, I'm pretty sure none of this was intended to be taken as a serious artistic statement. Rather, it's just a parade of naked ladies for you to knock one out to.

Play Motel is something of a cross between Giallo and your standard sleaze film; as the common Giallo theme of sex is revved up, while the other staple of the genre; namely, murder mystery, is pretty much forgotten about in favour of showing as much skin as possible. As you might expect given that premise, the sleaze factor is amazingly high, and director Mario Gariazzo appears to be trying to imitate the likes of Jess Franco with his sex-heavy plot line. The way that the actual plot is lost under all the skin is actually quite comical, as it's clearly there just to take advantage of the (at the time) popular Giallo sub-genre. But then again, you've got to expect that sort of thing from Italian filmmakers! The plot focuses on a place called 'Play Motel'. Sexual activity is rife there, but unfortunately for the guests; Play Motel has a peeping tom on the premises, and he enjoys snapping pictures of love making couples and then blackmailing the wealthy victims with the threat of making the photographs public. We follow a half-assed investigation into the crimes...

The film has something of a reputation among cult fans for being raunchy, but actually the sex is rather soft considering what can be viewed in similar films. That being said, the film is quite a long way away from being clean; and we still get to see various taboos being broken. The music is what really makes this film what it is, as Play Motel features some of the most ridiculous sounds ever to grace a Giallo. The title song is hardly 'Hotel California', and the way some corny music comes on every time two people are about to get it on works well. Despite being trash, Play Motel actually features a rather decent cult cast. Ray Lovelock is the biggest name with regards to the actors, and he receives decent support from Antonio De Teffè, as well as buxom females such as Enzo Fisichella ('Big Alligator River'), Patrizia Webley (The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance) and Marina Hedman (Images in a Convent). The blackmail plot gets resolved at the end, although it's completely uninteresting. However, this film is really all about smut and sleaze; and on that front, Play Motel certainly delivers!

You know how you can tell how scuzzy 1979's Play Motel is? I had a hard time finding a SFW poster to share along with this article. The giallo genre has the tendency to veer toward the seamier side of the tracks, but this one jumps into the filth, rolls around on it and then never takes a shower.

Patrizia and Roberto (Ray Lovelock, The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue, Murder Rock) are a married couple who've just stayed at the Play Motel, a no-tell motel where couples meet up for "adult encounters." Kind of like DJ Island, the swinger's club on the outskirts of my hometown where the high school English teacher who told me I'd never become a writer overdosed on Viagra in the hot tub.

They discover the body of Maria Longhi, a famous man's wife, in the trunk of their car. After calling the police, they discover the body has been moved. Following giallo tradition, our heroic couple decides to help the police with the case.

We get to see some of the scenes within the Play Motel, like a couple where the man dresses like the devil and his lover dresses like a nun. There's some blackmail too, along the way. Just where the film seems like it's becoming a mystery story, it decides to throw in a ten-minute long love scene. To the shock of the film's leads, the producers inserted hardcore scenes into the film upon release, which I've only seen in one other giallo - The Bloodsucker Leads the Dance, which also features Patrizia Webley. There's also an appearance by adult star Marina Hedman, whose debut mainstream film was in Lucio Fulci's My Sister-in-Law, opposite giallo queen Edwige Fenech.

Is it any surprise that this film comes from Mario Gariazzo, the deranged mind behind the most morally repugnant rip off of The Exorcist I've ever seen - that's a compliment - Enter the Devil?

If there's one nice thing you can take away from Play Motel, it's the theme song. Seriously, it sounds like the most demented Wings song ever. It really feels like it comes from a completely different movie!