I've seen quite a few Shudder-produced films and for the most part, without sugar coating it, they've been a load of old tripe.

This one seemed like an interesting concept, if only to see how they could make quicksand seem like a credible and entertaining threat. As it transpires... they didn't.

The plot surrounding the titular quicksand isn't anywhere near as thick as the mud the couple inevitably get stuck in (that's right, in a film called quicksand, it isn't even quicksand they get stuck in, but mud) with them on the verge of divorce.

The pair go on a hiking trip, get robbed, bolt headfirst into a bog and get stuck. Well, the wife does and the husband has to dive in to save her when she goes under, something that doesn't happen again in the film, even when they pass out or panic, begging the question why it happened in the first place.

The couple end up having deep and meaningful conversations while up to their neck in mud and corpses, in between fighting off threats like ants and snakes.

It's the snake that creates the most bizarre moment of the picture though. Despite being petrified of them, AND it already biting her husband, the wife decides she needs the snakes body to escape. Now, in order to lure it closer to her... she throws various objects at it.

Rather than flee in the opposite direction, as nearly all animals would do when a random flashlight smashes down just next to them, the snake takes it upon itself to find out who threw it and even has the wherewithal to sneak up on her when doing so.

It was at this point I zoned out, and nothing I saw after it could convince me this film was worth watching.

Another shudder 'classic'.

Well, who would have figured that getting stuck in quicksand would be so unfathomably boring?

When I sat down to watch this 2023 thriller from writer Matt Pitts and director Andres Beltran, I had never actually heard about the movie. But I will say that the synopsis for the movie was interesting enough. However, I scrolled through some of the reviews here on IMDb, and it wasn't all praise and admiration for the movie.

Yet, I opted to watch "Quicksand" on the account of the taste of the reviewers that I had read differed from mine. But I have to say that writer Matt Pitts put together a very bland and boring script for director Andres Beltran to bring to life on the screen.

I must admit that I never felt that the Sofia (played by Carolina Gaitan) and Josh (played by Allan Hawco) characters were ever in any real danger in the movie. And it seemed like they could just have turned around and easily pulled themselves out of the mire. It just never came off as being a dangerous situation and the wooden acting and cringeworthy dialogue just didn't help to convince me.

The movie has a very small cast ensemble, which means that there was all the more pressure laying on the few performers on the cast list. Sadly, however, they just weren't given any chance to carry the movie, because the script, the dialogue and the character gallery had the appeal of sitting down to watch grass growing. Needless to say that I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in "Quicksand".

I didn't stick around to finish watching the movie, because at the 56 minute marker, I was just bored to tears. And I had even dozed off once throughout the course of those 56 excrutiatingly long minutes. And believe you me, when i say that I am never returning to finish watching the rest of "Quicksand".

My rating of "Quicksand" lands on a two out of ten stars.

Quicksand, a movie directed by Andres Beltran and written by Matt Pitts, claims to be an intense survival drama set in the captivating rainforests of Colombia. However, this trainwreck of a film falls flat on its face, leaving viewers grappling for any redeeming qualities amidst the terrible acting, lackluster dialogue, absence of character connection, and the overwhelming sensation that it was created by a group of high school kids.

From the very start, the abysmal acting sets the tone for what is to come. The lead actors deliver performances so wooden and lifeless that it becomes impossible to empathize with their plight. Their portrayal of a married couple on the brink of divorce lacks any depth or emotional range, making it difficult to care about their survival in the unforgiving jungle. Throughout the film, their expressions remain monotonous, regardless of the perilous situations they find themselves in, making it nearly impossible to take the movie seriously.

To make matters worse, the dialogue in Quicksand is cringe-worthy at best. The writers seem to have a complete lack of understanding of how real people communicate and connect. The lines are forced, clichéd, and often unrealistic, leaving the audience with an awkward sense of detachment from the characters and their supposed emotional journey. The attempts at injecting tension and drama through conversation fall flat, leaving the viewer disinterested and uninvested in the couple's fate.

The lack of chemistry between the characters further exacerbates the movie's problems. Despite the premise of a couple on the verge of divorce being trapped together in a life-threatening situation, there is no genuine emotional connection established between them. Their interactions feel forced and unconvincing, rendering the central conflict of their failing marriage inconsequential to the overall plot. This glaring oversight hampers any potential for the audience to root for their survival or care about their reconciliation.

One of the most glaring issues with Quicksand is its production quality, which is reminiscent of a poorly executed student film. The camera work is shaky and amateurish, making it difficult to focus on the story and often leading to motion sickness for viewers. Furthermore, the special effects are laughably bad, taking away any semblance of realism and making the movie look like it was shot on a shoestring budget. The sound quality is equally subpar, with dialogue often being drowned out by background noise, further adding to the viewer's frustration.

The film's attempts at creating suspense and excitement are feeble at best. Rather than building tension organically through a well-crafted script and direction, Quicksand relies on predictable jump scares and cheap tactics to elicit reactions from the audience. These tactics only serve to highlight the movie's lack of originality and creativity, leaving viewers disappointed and disengaged.

Even the lush and beautiful backdrop of the Colombian rainforest fails to salvage this cinematic disaster. The potential for breathtaking scenery and natural beauty is squandered due to the movie's numerous flaws. Instead of immersing the audience in the awe-inspiring surroundings, the uninspired direction and poor cinematography only serve to reinforce the movie's overall lack of quality.

In conclusion, Quicksand is an utter disappointment from start to finish. With terrible acting, poor dialogue, a complete lack of character connection, and production values that belong in a high school AV club project, this movie misses the mark on all fronts. It fails to deliver on its promise of an enthralling survival drama and instead leaves viewers wondering how such a lackluster film ever made it to the big screen. Save yourself the trouble and steer clear of this forgettable and uninspired mess of a movie.