Joan Collins works in a strip where she does some type of Arabian Nights dance with a midget. She goes to Italy and meets a Italian played by Ralph Bates named Gino who sister happens to be a nun!! They get married and have a baby. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! The baby is suppose to be large for his age..but he looks like a normal sized baby to me. The tot actually is a real life Bamm Bamm. The baby can't even walk and you never see the tot even sitting up but somehow he manages to destroy things..including people. Joan Collins doesn't know what to do, her doctor keeps making these stupid remarks. Her best friend is well, useless. Her husband is clueless. Bamm Bamm manages to kill his nurse..she falls in a lake and hits her head. Mom and Daddy decide to put him in the hospital for observation. OH Oh they want blood test from Daddy. Joan confides to her friend that she slept with her old boyfriend Tommy right before she got married so he might be the dad. Now Tommy is a sleazy type of guy so he could have the devil in him, but no it it seems she was cursed by the midget she worked with when she rebuffed his advances. This makes no sense because according to her he was a real nice guy. Hey a lot of guys get upset when they are rebuffed not so strange. So why is she believing this midget has enough power to have a pipeline to Satan?? It would have been more feasible if Tommy had the pipeline to Satan. Well here comes the NUN. Turns out on page 210 in the book How to make a Movie..nuns have the power to perform exorcisms. It was the midget because he is still dancing but now he doing the dance of death. Every time the nun pulls out a cross the midget feels it..he eventually dies and the baby is normal. But we have another problem because now he is a orphan having dispatched his parents earlier in the film. This movie was a my type of movie..so bad it was good.

Sex, scandal, strippers and more mix in this unintentionally funny horror flick that's an absolute must for people who treasure bad genre movies.

This one is in the vein of "Rosemary's Baby" and "It's Alive". Joan Collins plays Lucy Carlesi, a woman who comes to fear that her newborn is possessed. And she could be right: almost every person who comes into contact with this infant meets a horrible death.

You have to hand it to British actors: they can sell just about anything, and make this train wreck more entertaining than it has a right to be. Collins does a remarkably sincere job, and is well supported by Ralph Bates, as her husband Gino, Donald Pleasence, as Dr. Finch, Caroline Munro as her sister Mandy, Eileen Atkins, as her sister-in-law Albana, Hilary Mason, as the grumpy Mrs. Hyde, John Steiner, as sleazy Tommy Morris, and George Claydon, as malevolent dwarf Hercules. Although their performances are fine, the "accents" affected by Bates and Atkins - who are playing Italians - are downright hysterical. Just get a load of the way that Atkins says the word "devil".

The best moments in this thing have to be the kill scenes, which should inspire some pretty hearty chuckles. People get shoved into a river, decapitated with a shovel, and hung before this is over. There are some fleeting breast shots for voyeurs and a fairly decent dose of gore. The movie can boast *some* style, particularly in a nightmare sequence. The score by Ron Grainer is most amusing, sounding more like porno music than anything else.

Picked up by A.I.P. for distribution in North America, "I Don't Want to Be Born" is a real hoot and a half. It might not be "good", but it's fun schlock.

Five out of 10.