Les Experiences Erotiques de Frankenstein, or under one of it's other alternate titles like The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein, La Maldicion de Frankenstein or The Curse of Frankenstein which was the title of the version I saw, starts in Dr. Frankenstein's (Dennis Price) laboratory where he & his assistant Morpho (writer & director Jesus Franco) have just transplanted a human brain into his silver skinned monster (Fernando Bilbao) that has been able to give it the power of speech. However, they are attacked by a blind half bird half human woman named Melissa (Anne Libert) who was created by a mad reincarnated scientist named Cagliostro (Howard Vernon) who attack Frankenstein & steal his monster, before he dies Dr. Frankenstein tries to tell Dr. Seward (Alberto Dables) about what has happened, along with Inspector Tanner (Daniel White) Seward decides to investigate. Shortly after Dr. Frankenstein's daughter Vera (Beatriz Savon) turns up & with the help of her assistant Abigail (Doris Thomas) reanimates her Father who begs her to save his monster as Cagliostro is a reincarnated madman intent on creating a perfect female using various carefully chosen body parts & have her mate with his monster to create a 'master race' to replace all of humanity! As the clues point to the 'Castle of Barna' can Cagliostro be stopped?

This Spanish French co-production was written & directed by Jesus Franco who also appears in the opening sequence, I have to admit that I'm not the biggest Franco fan usually but Les Experiences Erotiques de Frankenstein isn't too bad & at least he tries to inject some horror amidst the nudity & surrealism. Apparently this film exists in a couple of different versions & the one I an commenting on is the 'hot' uncut version with all the nudity intact which probably consist of someone undressing, the naked female monster, Melissa's naked body getting a few camera pans up & down it & a few rituals involving naked people. The script doesn't play like an ordinary Frankenstein adaptation as you can probably tell from my synopsis, it's all rather strange, disjointed, nonsensical & downright bizarre at times but having said that it does entertain to an extent. What is Melissa all about? She is supposedly a half bird with blue feathers & sharp claws for no good reason as far as I could tell. Cagliostro uses 'Magnetic Waves' to control people's minds but has to do it through Melissa which again is just pointless. What are those zombie types doing just standing there doing nothing in particular? Why does the monster have silver skin? Why all the baffling incantations & rituals? In a odd sort of way these surreal elements work on a basic level & Les Experiences Erotiques de Frankenstein is watchable in a way I can't quite explain. It moves along at a fair pace & never becomes boring or dull which is one good thing about it. As far as the nudity goes there isn't much to talk about actually, one naked body is pretty much the same as another although the inclusion of naked breasts & vagina's isn't necessarily a bad thing & for the girls some bloke gets his wedding tackle out. Now in terms of violence & gore it could have been bloodier, there is a brain in a jar, a severed with a sword hand, a cheap decapitation & a scene where the monster brutally whips a naked man & woman whom are tied together (don't ask). Director Franco shows that he probably would be better off directing traffic as he uses the annoying day-for-night process & he puts constant Owl hooting on the soundtrack to try & convince us that it's the middle of the night! He uses plenty of zooms which seem to go in & out of focus at random & as a whole doesn't do much to add atmosphere to the proceedings apart from a couple of nicely lit shots. Technically Les Experiences Erotiques de Frankenstein is cheap & cheerful, some of the costumes look alright while others like bed sheets, some of the locations are decent, the cinematography is OK & I must admit that the music really got on my nerve's. The special effects are far from special, that lab skeleton is obviously plastic & the monster just looks daft. The acting is of low calibre by everyone involved. Overall I thought it was watchable in a daft & silly but entertaining & fun sort of way. Much better than most of the other stuff I've seen from Franco anyway although that in itself is far from a recommendation. Worth a watch for Euro horror fans if you can find a copy.

• The beginning of the movie doesn't stray far from what you might expect - Dr. Frankenstein and his assistant are transplanting a brain into their creature. The transplant works and the monster is not only capable of performing simple tasks, but can think and speak. But before the Doc has time to celebrate his victory, he is interrupted by Melissa, the Bird Woman. She kills the Doctor and assistant and takes the monster to her master, Cagliostro. He has other plans for the creature. Dr. Frankenstein's monster will be the father of a new race of supermen.

• First, a word of warning. I bought Image's The Rites of Frankenstein that came out August 9, 2005. I didn't pay much attention and just assumed it would be the edition that is commonly known as The Erotic Rites of Frankenstein - a movie I've wanted to see for a while. But this version is actually the Spanish movie - La Maldición de Frankenstein. The big difference is that the Spanish movie is heavily cut (meaning all the naughty bits are cut out) and extra scenes with Lina Romay have been added (which do nothing for the movie). It seems that almost everything you normally look for in a Franco film has been left on the Spanish editing room floor. I'm positive my rating and opinion of this movie would improve when and if I ever get a chance to see the real thing.

• For those unfamiliar with Franco, a first time viewing can be puzzling and jarring. To begin with, Franco has a tendency to put shots in his films that are totally unrelated to the story. The scenes I mentioned with Lina Romay are the perfect example. They're just there. Sometimes Franco will allow his camera to linger on an inanimate object for what seems like an eternity. In this movie we get a random, close-up shot of a tree for no purpose that I could see. Shooting things out of focus doesn't appear to bother Franco. There were a couple of scenes in The Rites of Frankenstein where I had to stop myself from yelling "Focus, Franco. Focus". There are other examples as I've just scratched the surface of what you're likely to see in an average Franco movie. Whether you like them or not, his movies provide an experience like no other.

• Visually, Franco has filled The Rites of Frankenstein with all sorts of treats (at least what wasn't cut from my version). I've already mentioned Melissa, the Bird Woman. She's a blind half-bird/half-woman with steel looking talons, green feathers, and an appetite for human flesh. That's definitely something you don't see everyday. Franco could have made the whole movie about her and it might have been more interesting. Frankenstein's monster has a unique look - he's completely silver. Cagliostro has the ability to summon the undead. The site of these shrouded figures wandering through the forest is one of the highlights of the movie.

• But mixed with these interesting scenes, Franco has seen fit to include some ridiculous moments. One of my "favorites" in The Rites of Frankenstein are continual close-ups of Cagliostro's eyes. Somehow Howard Vernon was able to go the entire movie without blinking and, for some reason known only to him, Franco felt compelled to show us Vernon's non-blinking eyes over and over and over and.... Don't ask why - it's Franco. I'm convinced they had a representative from Guinness and were going for some sort of world record.

• In short, if you're a fan of Franco, you might find some enjoyment in the movie - but wait for the uncut version. If you don't like Franco, skip it all together.