Have you ever been driving from A to B, passed a random church to which you've never been, seen a sign that there was a family play about to start, and stopped to go in and watch? If so, then this movie is right for you!

This is a church play, without the communal or family connection you would actually have at your own church. There is a great moral story, but it is delivered by actors who although probably nice people exhibit the skill of a second grader trying to read aloud Shakespeare. The director seems to have at least shaken hands with a real director, perhaps at a Universal Studios Tour, and the music director is most likely the church choir's organ lady who has temporarily switched to a piano and continues to repeat the same three bars over and over for the entire length of the film, varying only slightly between the moods in each scene. I will admit, I think the cinematographer actually had more than a cell phone for the camera, and despite the sophomoric direction actually seemed to get some good angels and lighting. I half expected at each scene's end for the fade to black to be interrupted by curtains parting and the cast to appear on line, holding hands and bowing.

This isn't a terrible movie. Just don't expect anything more Hollywood than a play from a church.

***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** I rented this DVD because I wanted to see more of Kate Bosworth, the stunningly beautiful star of Blue Crush, and didn't expect much. The Newcomers, though, was okay, kind of like an episode of Seventh Heaven, or the old Davey and Goliath show. A family leaves Boston because the son, Sam, turns in a football player for damaging school property and is harassed by him. If only this were the only problem facing the inner city today! The father is some kind of construction worker and he figures they should pack up and move to the country, but he ends up buying a huge house in Vermont, so they must have had some money. This sad sack family ends up moving across the street from a bitter guy whose dead wife liked the house, and resents strangers because he thinks there after his job. The neighborhood kids terrorize Sam, and Kate Bosworth, who does little in this film except scowl and look good in tights, hates living in the hick town. She does a 180 though when she takes a shine to the gas-pump jockey. Finally Sam and his dog save the mean guy's son from drowning we all learn a lesson in tolerance. The filmmakers seem to look back in fondness to a Norma Rockwell America that doesn't exist anymore. Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh would love it. The kid who plays Sam is pretty believable, and again, there's Kate Bosworth.

This movie should come with a health warning - if you're diabetic or have similar health problems that require you to avoid sugar then you need to avoid this movie at all costs. This movie is so sugary sweet it's almost sickening. That's not its only problem though. This movie is so contrived, so derivative, so full of stereotyped characters that you will be forgiven for thinking you've seen it before. You have in a way. You've seen this all before and seen it done much better. There are no surprises here. You could write this yourself. You can guess what is going to happen well before it does - and you'll be correct. A special mention has to be made of the soundtrack, which sounds like one of those syrupy tunes a cheap phone will offer as a ring tone. Maybe that's where it came from. Anyway, it is excruciating and just doesn't let up! Possibly the only interesting thing this movie has to offer is the opportunity to see a number of now-well-known actors before they hit the big time. I guess this movie is the kind of thing you have to do on your way up in Hollywood.

It's impossible to recommend this movie to anyone looking for something remotely entertaining. However, if you're in the market for something bland, colourless and action free that won't tax your brain cells or emotions in any conceivable way, then this is the movie for you.