Me and my boyfriend were looking through random movies, and decided that this looked interesting. The "scare" at the start of the movie got him, I laughed because it was so hilarious to see what was clearly some kind of prop glide into view.

From there, the movie contains nothing of value. It's just the writer's unlikable self-insert character, their stupid make believe girlfriend, and a cast of so many meaningless characters. I don't remember their names, and neither will you.

To give the movie faint praise, my favorite parts are where when you could see some of the other actors making faces at the dialogue. You can see them grimace. It's hilarious.

The movie has very uncomfortable undertones, but not the kind you want in a horror movie. It's very clear that Shawn C. Philips, the male lead, writer, and producer had a great time making soft core you know what. The movie is exceedingly sexual, and not in a fun or well handled way. I will never let the line "Finally something kinky!" leave my skull because it's the perfect summation of the actual mindset behind this movie.

This is clearly some odd fantasy of the writer, acted out in the woods with paid actors. If the horror comes from the "comedy", and the comedy comes from laughing at the movie itself then what was it all for?

1/10 Would not watch a balding fat man get smeared in fake blood again.

Right, well had I known that the 2023 movie "Woods Witch" was a found-footage movie, I wouldn't even have given it a second glance. I absolutely loathe the found-footage genre. When I sit down to watch a movie, I don't want to watch something that I could have filmed myself with my digital video camera.

The storyline in the movie was bland and generic, and it utterly failed to capture my interest. First of all, it was a found-footage movie, and secondly it was about social media influencers. Yup, I don't like those losers either. So the movie stood a snowball's chance in Hell of gaining favor with me. Writers Shawn C. Phillips and Julie Anne Prescott just dropped the ball extraordinarily well here.

Truth be told, I gave up on this dumpster fire of a movie after 30 minutes of excruciating torment. And I have zero intentions of ever returning to attempt finish watching this dung heap of a movie.

"Woods Witch" was labeled as a horror comedy, but it failed to deliver in both genres.

Of the cast ensemble that I managed to see in the 30 minutes of torment I sat through, I was only familiar with Ken Davitian, Tom Sizemore and James Duval. And I can't fathom how the likes of James Duval and Tom Sizemore would stoop to a movie of this type. But, hey, a pay cheque is a pay cheque I suppose.

This movie is definitely not something I would recommend for you to waste your time, money or effort on.

My rating of directors Lauren Francesca and Shawn C. Phillips 2023 movie lands on a one out of ten stars.